I recently went to the lab inside my GP’s office for the typical pre-physical blood work. My appointment was for 10am, I was allowed to drink only water and so I did just that until after my blood draw.

When I arrived, the phlebotomist was anxious and super talkative questioning why I allowed my appointment to be so late in the morning. My response to her was something to the tone of “oh, no problem, I’m fine, getting a little hungry now but staved it off with water”. Chattering away as she was about how she had to update my insurance information and that it will take her too long because computers aren’t her thing but that phlebotomy was; she touted how she was damn good at her job. She brought up the breakfast issue again adding in that she’s already had three, yes 3! candy bars so far today and that if she ate a normal breakfast like most people, her body wouldn’t know what to do with it. Hmmm, that explains her talkativeness and anxiousness!

As she prepared to stick my arm with her ‘piggy-back test-tube’ needle, chattering all the while she found the “perfect vein” and proceeded. As she chattered away, she pushed the needle through and further….my blood initially filled the tube but as she pushed through it slowed. She was pushing nearly through the other side of my vein and stated, “ooh, you’re gonna have a bruise”…followed by “gee, your blood flow is slow, you should drink more water”. My thought, ‘gee, you ought to lay off the candy bars and coffee for breakfast and this wouldn’t happen.

Upon leaving and saying goodbye, I ended with “no more candy bars for today”, to which she responded, “oh, hell, I have two more to go!”

I bruised as she had promised and my inner elbow was sore and lumpy for at least a week.

If you can relate to this woman in the least, please, let’s talk, I can help!